rue love
by Douglas Messerli
Alfie Arcuri, Toby Lee Cameron (aka Toby Chew Lee), and Cameron Nacson (songwriters), Wil Sabin (director) If You Only Knew / 2017 [4 minutes] [music video]
A young man (Travis Jeffery), openly gay, falls in love with a seemingly straight boy (Bardiya McKinnon), who is in a relationship with a woman (Kirsty Marillier).
The first verse sings of the undercurrent of their relationship:
“If they only knew
How to keep you safe like I kept you
How to speak the words they've never used
I wish they only knew
If they only saw
The way my lips would shake when they met yours
The way your heart was met with open doors
I wish they only saw”
The two young men obviously enjoy one another’s company immensely, but as often occurs in such gay films, the beautiful young girl is there almost always demands kisses. Only when she falls to sleep while the gay boy is driving them home, does the other boy lay his head gently on the gay boy’s shoulder.
In one of their few moments alone the gay boy finally dares all, the danger point of most buddy relationships, kissing his beloved friend, who after momentarily returning the kiss, quickly pushes him away, the gay boy apologizing and rushing off, completely heartbroken.
The Chorus reiterates the sorrow the gay boys feels:
“They've never ever had the strength
To feel the weight in what we meant
So leave, go home
Yeah leave, go home”
Finally, after both suffer in their loneliness, the straight boy not even meeting up with his girlfriend, the two boys again meet up in an arcade, where they play a pin-ball game, the gay boy once again putting his hand gently upon the straight boy’s, who this time accepts it.
Arcuri, an openly gay man since 2013, has reported in several places, including The Daily Telegraph, speaking with Jonathon Moran, the real source of the song:
“I fell in love with this guy and it was instant love,” he explained.
“We were together for a couple of years and half way through the relationship he came out. The song is almost like a diary entry for me telling his parents how innocent our love and relationship was because to them I was like the devil who turned their son gay. It wasn’t like that at all though, it was a beautiful love.”
Three years since the couple split, they are still friends and the track will be used by advocacy group just.equal with a series of personal stories being released to coincide with the release
of the single.
“I never actually wrote this song to be released because it is so personal,” said Arcuri, who was an architect before winning The Voice.
“Even talking about it makes me emotional.”
Los Angeles, November 10, 2026
Reprinted from My Queer Cinema blog (November 2026).
No comments:
Post a Comment